My Wish for You
by chochowilliams
Summary: One-shot. Shuichi's POV. Set between vol. 6 & 7 of the manga. Eiri outed them on national TV. Now Shuichi has something to say to his lover.


**My Wish for You**

**One-shot**

**Written by: **chochowilliams

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Gravitation_ or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

**Summary:** Eiri outed them on national television. Now Shuichi has something he has to say to his lover.

**Warning: **Takes place between volume 6 and 7 of the manga, drama, romance, humor, First Person POV, M/M

**Pairings:** Eiri/Shuichi

**Inserts:** Gravitation (manga) Vol. 6, "My Wish" by the Rascal Flats

**A/N:** This was just something that has been floating around in my head. Hope you enjoy it.

**oOo**

_More then anything, more then anything, _

_My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it, _

_To your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small, _

_You never need to carry more then you can hold, _

_And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, _

_I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too, _

_Yeah, this, is my wish. _

"**My Wish", Rascal Flatts**

**oOo**

It happened because Eiri went to New York. I'm still not certain as to why he traveled halfway around the world. When I asked, "Why exactly are you going? To New York."

His answer? "Confidential."

Whatever.

But while Eiri was off gallivanting in New freaking York City, possibly with some blond bimbo, K had booked Bad Luck not on a music program or even a talk show like you would expect. Oh, no. Of course not. That would have been too easy. We couldn't have Bad Luck following in the footsteps of every other band out there. Instead, our psychotic American manager booked us, a trio of musicians, on a cooking show. A cooking show! Do we look like chefs? What the hell goes through that man's mind? And do I even want to know? Probably not. But to K, as long as we get our name out there, everything was fair game. Any press was good press. He was lucky that, so far, he's been right, but there will come a day when that won't be the case. Of course, I won't be the one saying, "I told you so." I like my balls right where they are thank you very much.

With Eiri leaving, I completely fell apart. At first, I was okay. It was only after everybody continually asked me, "Are you sure you're okay?" The monotony of it all wore down my carefully erected barriers and I, naturally, broke down. Maybe if they would have kept their big assed mouths shut and took me at my word, what followed never would have. So really, the fact that Bad Luck's first scandal was what it was, was thanks to them and not me. Of course, they'd rather place blame on me instead of manning up. Bastards.

Really, though, it was only for ten days that Eiri was gone. It wasn't as if he hadn't planned on returning. We weren't breaking up or anything. He just had to take care of some business. That was it.

Up until then, I'd been doing relatively well with being left all alone, but once my wall came crashing down, all of these fears just suddenly shot to life with the recollection that Eiri would be thousands of miles away from me for practically ever. The fears staged a coup d'état. They overwhelmed my already fragile defenses and in the confusion, the capital fell. Nothing I could do would stop it. I watched helplessly as everything I had ever known fell victim to the marauders.

As much support as Eiri and I both had from family and friends, the very real fact of the matter was, we were both guys. There would be no stolen kisses as he helped me into the car. We could not whisper sweet nothings into each other's ear as we strolled hand in hand down the street. If Eiri were to take me to some fancy restaurant, we could not share a slice of cheesecake. No park would be able to bear witness to our acts of courtship. I could not steal the strawberry garnishing Eiri's smoothie in order to draw Eiri into a heated kiss. As men, none of the rules of courtship that "ordinary couples" took for granted each and every single day applied to us. We had to pretend to be buddies. A couple of guys out on the town trying to pick up chicks.

It was being forced to act "normal" in public so that we did not offend anybody's sense of-well, whatever "sense" they had when they shoot us those dirty looks full of disgust and hatred and whispered to their companion behind their hands that bred this fear: Eiri would wake up one day with the realization that he made the biggest mistake of his life the day he decided to take me as his lover.

Yes, he was the one who seduced me. Don't let him convince you otherwise.

Just being allowed to breath the same air as him would have been enough for me. But it was because he made the first move that I feared he would make the final one. I feared that he would come to his senses and dump me after realizing that giving up bachelorhood and all those women in favor of some inexperienced teenage brat had been a huge mistake. Sometimes these fears paralyze me.

I love Eiri. I love him more than I have ever loved anybody. Having such strong feelings for someone, entrusting them with your heart, it was scary.

As good as I was at lying, especially to myself, and I was very good at it despite what some people may say, Hiro always seemed to be able to break through the crap I spew. So it was not surprising that he was able to notice how upset I was after Eiri's departure.

Somehow, Hiro was able to convince Tatsuha to cosplay-or dress up-as his brother, and my lover, Eiri Yuki. Tatsuha was able to pull it off because he looked exactly like Eiri, especially after he dyed his black hair and put in colored contacts to disguise their dark hue. So who could blame me for not being able to tell the difference? How was I supposed to know Eiri hadn't come home early in order to help me on the Cooking Championships? Later when the real Eiri came home, he asked how I possibly could have mistaken his sixteen-year-old brother for him…again. Yeah well, I wasn't the only one who was fooled. All of Japan was as well. At least I figured it out…eventually…right before Tatsuha kissed me…on national television.

Oh, the scandal it caused!

Stupid Tatsuha! The next time I saw him, I was going to strangle him!

How was I supposed to get out of this one? Sure, I wanted Bad Luck to become the biggest band in the music business. I wanted our name to be uttered in the same breath as such legends as the Rolling Stones or the Beatles, but this was not how I wanted to go about doing that. So of course, I intended to come up with some sort of excuse, some way of brushing the incident aside. All the papers carried headlines that read, "Gone too far?" I wanted to prove them wrong. But how? Publicity stunt? Mistaken identity? Joke? All plausible. But would the people of Japan believe those excuses? Possibly…

…But…

It hurt. To deny the truth hurt. The fact of the matter is, yes, Eiri and I are in what some people would call an "illicit" relationship. That much was true, but those photos splashed in all the papers and magazines and what everybody watched unfold on television last night was Tatsuha and I. It was not Eiri and I. So in a sense it was easy to deny what was being spread, but it still hurt. To deny the truth was to deny a piece of you. A tiny piece of me died every time I fumbled around for an excuse, any excuse other than the truth that would explain my and Eiri's relationship.

Why? What was so wrong with the truth? That was easy. If it ever came out that Eiri, most eligible bachelor in Japan, the man every single woman in the country had wet dreams about and all the men envied, was involved with an eighteen year old male wannabe rock star…I can't even imagine what the scandal would do to his career. I could care less about me. My reputation could be dragged through the mud and back and it wouldn't faze me, but Eiri did not deserve the scorn and ridicule. I had to protect him at any cost.

Eiri had other plans.

With his sunglasses clasped in his right hand and his left hand lightly clasping my shoulder, he'd smiled at the reporter and said, _"It's no big mystery. To be honest, he was just waiting for me to come home."_

Y-Yuki…?

"_We, uh…How should I say this? We're very close."_

"_Uh…then, you two are good friends?"_ the reporter had insinuated.

"_Th-That's right! That's exactly right,"_ I tried to say. Somehow, I had to fix things. There was no way I was going to allow the press to slander Eiri's good name. Unfortunately, it was an effort in futility.

"_Oh…No…,"_ Eiri contradicted with a serious expression on his face, _"actually, we're more than that…We're lovers."_

What the hell was he thinking coming out of the closet on national television? And he calls me the idiot. Please! At least I did not announce to all of Japan on the most watched morning news program in all of Japan that I was gay. If he wouldn't have opened his big fat assed mouth, our relationship would still be just between the two of us…and his sister…and brother…and Hiro, Suguru, K, Sakano, Tohma…Okay, so many people knew about us, but still, at least all of Japan wasn't in on the secret. That included my mother. My sister Maiko knew, but that was because like Hiro, she was there in the beginning, but my parents had no idea that their only son was rooting for the home team. If I were going to tell anybody, it would have been them. To say that I got quite the tongue lashing after they learned, from TV no less, that their son was not only gay but also involved with _the_ Eiri Yuki, my mother's favorite author as it turned out-big surprise there would be the understatement of the century. I am still paying for that.

So here I am, sneaking into my own apartment…Okay, so it's Eiri's place. Technicalities aside, I had to sneak in so that the army of reporters and paparazzi that have been camped out front ever since the news broke that the straightest man in all of Japan was not so straight after all did not spot me. Sometimes fame sucks monkey balls.

There was something I had to discuss with Eiri. He's been working night and day in order to meet a deadline so I had to be careful. If it was closing in on the due date, Eiri was going to slam me into next week, quite literally. He has been known to be quite violently abusive when stressed and under pressure from his agent, Kanna Mizuki, as well as from the public for something new. He slammed me into the dresser one time. Another time it was the coffee table. Fun times.

Besides, my mother has been hounding me to get his autograph for her. What a pain. This was why I had feared telling her about Eiri. Not because of rejection, but because I knew she, as well as my sister, would be bothering me nonstop about "Yuki-sama".

It was easier than I thought it would be to slip by the reporters. All I had to do was shout from out of sight, "There he is!" and like starving vultures spotting a rotting wildebeest carcass, the army of reporters and other various paparazzi packed up their equipment, jumped into their vehicles and took off like a shot down the street in a cloud of dust.

Morons.

The doorman was chuckling when he held the door open for me. "Mr. Shindou," he greeted with a tip of his hat.

"Hello Mamiya-san," I greeted back.

During the agonizingly slow elevator ride up to Eiri's place that was-of course-at the top of the building, thoughts of sugarplums fairies danced in my head. Comparing Eiri to a fairy had me chuckling. Better keep that to myself. If Eiri ever found out, he'd murdalize me.

When the elevator finally arrived at Eiri's floor, I had jumped out of the car and bolted down the hall to the only door-other than the one that opened to the stairwell-before the elevator doors had fully opened.

The condominium was silent when I stepped inside. No surprise. Unless he was rushing to meet a deadline, Eiri usually played some music while he was writing. He said it helped him to concentrate. I understand that. I was the same way. But while I blasted Nittle Grasper, Scandal, Koda Kumi or some other band that seemed to grate on Eiri's nerves, believe it or not it was usually Bach or some other boring Baroque composer that Eiri preferred to listen to.

"Brat."

At the sound of my lover's voice, I nearly had a heart attack. "Yuki," I breathed over my rapidly racing heart.

Reclining on the sofa with an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips was Eiri. His hair was unkempt and there were bags under his eyes. Dark circles accentuated his golden eyes. His white button down shirt and black trousers were askew. Basically, Eiri looked like crap.

One of these days, Eiri was going to kill himself. That stirred my anger. Crossing my arms over my chest, I scowled down at the writer.

Eiri was not intimidated in the least.

"You're not taking care of yourself," I accused.

Eiri merely rolled his eyes.

I hate when he's condescending like that. "Eiri!" I stomped my foot for emphasis, feeling childish all the while. I couldn't help it. That was the effect Eiri's stubborn attitude had on me. It was like being on a long car ride with your sibling, who, in a fit of boredom, decide to see how much crap they can throw at you before you snap.

Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, Eiri dropped his head back and said, "If you came to lecture me, you can turn right back around and leave."

Did that mean he did not want me here? My heart ached at the thought. "But…"

"I'm not in the mood," Eiri growled. "I've been up all night."

That had me wincing. I already knew an Eiri who has not had any sleep was a very cranky Eiri. There was a saying I heard somewhere about not waking a slumbering bear. Well, the same applied for Eiri. If you bothered him when it was painfully obvious he wanted to be left alone, you deserved your ass handed to you. "I'm sorry," I whispered as my eyes grew misty. I really hadn't intended to upset him, but it seemed as if that was my specialty.

I stood there in the middle of the living room with my head bowed, silent and unsure. Maybe coming here had been a bad idea after all.

"Is there a reason you're here?" I heard Eiri say after some time had passed. There was a note of annoyance in his voice.

My hands clenched and unclenched nervously. "Do I need one?" My voice came out in a whisper. How could he ask me something like that? Wasn't it enough for lovers to want to just spend time with one another? Did there always have to be some ulterior motive behind every choice?

Eiri sighed heavily.

What was with the sigh? Was I really that much of a nuisance?

I lifted my head and watched Eiri as he sat up and stubbed out his cigarette, still unlit, in his ashtray. The ashtray was overflowing with ash and cigarette buts. It really was a disgusting habit. I wish he'd quit, but knew he wouldn't.

Standing up from the couch, Eiri rounded the coffee table and cut a path towards the staircase that led up to the second level. This was one of only a few condominiums in the building that had multiple levels. It also had to cost a fortune, but Eiri never seemed to worry about money. Was he really that well off? It would explain why he was a little hesitant to believe that I had indeed fallen in love with him and not his wallet. My heart ached when Eiri passed me without so much an acknowledgement. But at the foot of the staircase, with a foot on the first stair and his hand on the railing, he tossed almost casually over his shoulder, "You coming?"

My heart soared. Grinning, I was at his side in a flash and latched onto him. When he did not push me away, I decided to push the envelope a little and cuddled against him. I mentally squealed when he, again, allowed me to.

I have to admit, part of me was still weirded out by our relationship, but I would have it no other way. I loved this man. "It's all your fault," I accused as he led us up the stairs.

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"And what, pray tell, am I at fault for?"

"Well…" My cheeks were warm.

"Well…What?"

"Ya know." My face felt as if it were on fire.

"No, I don't."

I cannot believe he was making me say it. God! How embarrassing. "For…this…Ya know…"

"Sorry. I don't speak bratese."

I knew he was teasing. He seemed to get off on doing this to me. "Yuki," I whined as we crossed the hall towards the master bedroom.

Eiri chuckled. "So, it's my fault…?" he supplied.

I preceded him into the master bedroom. "It's your fault I'm…" I was never so thankful for dim lighting. "Ya know…gay." The last was said in such a soft voice, it couldn't even be considered a whisper.

Silence. Then, "Please," Eiri snorted from behind me. "You're telling me," he continued as he started to strip, "that you've never been attracted to any other guys before me?"

"No," I quickly denied.

Eiri tossed his shirt onto the chair besides the dresser then turned towards me.

The look said everything. It had my blush returning. It blazed bright and warm. You could roast a marshmallow with it.

"Really?" He did not sound convinced.

I nodded, but Eiri just kept looking at me with that expression on his face! How was I supposed to compete? "Okay. Maybe one…" I could admit to that at least. My first crush was a boy named Ishi who used to live down the street from me when I was six.

Eiri cocked an eyebrow.

"…or two…," I found myself admitting much to my embarrassment. In junior high, I had a crush on this really cute boy in my class named Masajun Jodai. Unfortunately, he only ever thought of me as a friend.

It wasn't long before I cracked before that omnipotent gaze.

"Okay! So I've never been attracted to a girl in my life. Happy?"

With a smirk, Eiri crawled naked into bed. Tossing the blankets back, he patted the bed.

"It's still your fault," I mumbled as I crawled, equally naked, besides him.

Chuckling, Eiri drew me down with him. "Guilty," he admitted as he drew the covers up around us.

Much to my surprise, sleep quickly washed over me. Wrapped within Eiri's embrace, I felt like the happiest boy in the world. "I love you," I mumbled.

I wasn't sure if I was already dreaming or if it was just wishful thinking, but I swear I heard a "Love you, too," just as sleep and the warm strength of Eiri at my back lulled me to sleep.

…**The End**


End file.
